April 26, 2009
Give a man a match and he’ll be warm for a minute; set him on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
He’s so far in the closet he’s in Narnia
I dream of a better tomorrow… where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
This girl rang me up one time, she says “come over, nobody is home”, I went over, no one was home…
That Jesus Christ guy is getting some terrible lag… it took him 3 days to respawn!
I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me.
Headline: ISRAEL PULLS OUT OF GAZA, GAZA NOT PREGNANT
Womens faults are many, while men have only two. Everything they say and everything they do.
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