Lame Quotes

Give a man a match and he’ll be warm for a minute; set him on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

He’s so far in the closet he’s in Narnia

I dream of a better tomorrow… where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

This girl rang me up one time, she says “come over, nobody is home”, I went over, no one was home…

That Jesus Christ guy is getting some terrible lag… it took him 3 days to respawn!

I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me.


Womens faults are many, while men have only two. Everything they say and everything they do.

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